btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
