Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
