He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize