she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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