yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
