remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize