Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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