we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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