Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Where is the hickey?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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