I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am mentally ready for anal.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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