Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
