Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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