Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
