He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
