If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
