hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
