I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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