Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
