i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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