she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
