at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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