sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
