I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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