i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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