if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
