i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
