You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
