I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
