I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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