first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
