these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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