I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
