Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
