great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
