I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize