Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
