I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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