playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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