OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
