you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
