I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
