this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just google imaged poop.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
