alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she pinky promised me she was 18
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
