Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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