That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
