its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize