More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
