I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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