Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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