HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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