I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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