Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
