I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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