If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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