we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize