i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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