Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
