It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
