Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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