Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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