I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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