She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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