I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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